Monday, March 13, 2023

Unsolved problem

There is something wrong with me lately. Everything feels not right. Literally, EVERYTHING. I can’t find out where the missing pieces are. Missing home? I met my family last Friday. I’m not too attached to home, or else it can’t be this early. Missing tokwan? Probably, yes.

I wonder how Cik Ya encountered this kind of feeling when she was in uni. Siblings? Friends? Or partner? Cik Ya’s mom died when she was young. I really wanted to know how she was able to manage all this. I need shoulder to cry on. To let my heart out. I poured my heart out to Aini but only half of it. HALF. The burden didn’t decrease. Should I call umi?

YALL, IM LISTENING TO SAD SONGS MADE ME CRY EVEN HARDER.

It will be weird. I never told umi any of my problems. Not only umi but family. Pretend that I’m strong, nothing happened. That’s my skill.

Should I tell tokwan? Does she will understand me? I don’t think so. I don’t even know where to start. What if she asks this and that? What should I reply? Too much in my mind. I’m tired enough.

I shouldn’t think of others more than myself. I am important to me. I’ve handled it all alone all these times. Why not today?

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