After few months, I made it. terima kasih sebab cari orang lain. terima kasih sebab jawab jujur bila i tanya. you always be my favourite chapter. tapi I minta maaf, I tak mampu untuk tak bencikan you. I terlalu sakit. you were my first love. I selalu berangan, "I have loved you since we were 18". haha. tapikan, I penat benci you, penat deny apa yang diorang kata, penat tipu diri sendiri. apakan daya, it helps me to heal. That is my coping mechanism.
I never fell in love, but when I fall, I fall hard. so hard. yet, I fell till I didn't realize that you were temporary. sedih kan I? I never felt how so called true love is. I thought we were meant together, but we never know how it will be. takdir kan? I redha, takpe. I faham. you orang baik. you selalu tegur I bila salah. you sabar bila I ajak gaduh. cuma kisah kita bukan apa yang I nak.
Honestly, I never move on. I je sayang you, I je suka you. I benci you, sebab I malu sangat. bila ingat balik, how stupid i was, i am very sad. rupanya I bertepuk sebelah tangan je you. sikit-sikit I learn untuk kenal orang lain tapi I takut things happen twice. I teringat how we started to talk? kelakar kan I. padahal I je yang rasa semua tu, tapi i pula yang tak boleh nak move on sangat.
I doakan you yang terbaik. I doa you tak tinggal solat, sentiasa berbakti dekat mummy papa along. I minta maaf sebab perasaan ni ada.
I tak kisah kalau orang baca, sebab I aware that one day my friends will find out about this blog juga. Biarlah orang tahu, orang tahu yang you tak jahat, kita tak jahat. The timing was wrong. Last time, we were not ready to commit in any relationship.
23/10/22
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