There is something wrong with me lately.
Everything feels not right. Literally, EVERYTHING. I can’t find out where the
missing pieces are. Missing home? I met my family last Friday. I’m not too attached
to home, or else it can’t be this early. Missing tokwan? Probably, yes.
I wonder how Cik Ya encountered this kind of feeling
when she was in uni. Siblings? Friends? Or partner? Cik Ya’s mom died when she
was young. I really wanted to know how she was able to manage all this. I need
shoulder to cry on. To let my heart out. I poured my heart out to Aini but only
half of it. HALF. The burden didn’t decrease. Should I call umi?
YALL, IM LISTENING TO SAD SONGS MADE ME CRY EVEN HARDER.
It will be weird. I never told umi any of my
problems. Not only umi but family. Pretend that I’m strong, nothing happened.
That’s my skill.
Should I tell tokwan? Does she will understand
me? I don’t think so. I don’t even know where to start. What if she asks this
and that? What should I reply? Too much in my mind. I’m tired enough.
I shouldn’t think of others more than myself. I am important to me. I’ve handled it all alone all these times. Why not today?
